I’ve had issues with the doctors throughout my case, crisis teams many meds , had me down for no polar at one stage ( not what I got ) .
Well I formal complained in August, I’ve been corresponding ever since, to no avail, 2 months on after rude attitude on Monday a call back on Tuesday that never came, I went there this morning.
First thing I did was ask about the head referral, ohh what a surprise not done asked for a printout.. oh they must get permission.. it’s my info love , I’m having it.. doc must say yes first.. tell doc they should answer formal complaints..
The lady I been dealing with who told me for 2 months she’s practice manager is actually reception manager🤬. Well I got heated andtold em I’ll camp out all day till I’m seen I got a lump on my head growing I’ve got half a diagnosis for fibromyalgia and just been left for 2 years, I got major mental health issues, chronic back neck spine shoulder leg issues, you medicated mefor 7 years telling me I’m paranoid , then I prove I wasn’t come off the meds ask for help from crisis so I didn’t end up back on cannabis, to be turned away for the reason I’m there ffs.
Well came home with call the right info have to now do more laptop.. email the real practice manager, email for my foes since 2009..
when do I get a chance to just breathe and live.. my whole life has been a battle to just breathe every day. The smile you see is a face , if I wore how I felt inside as a visual I’d be worse than John merrick , people would turn to stone, like I’m medusa.
I try to disguise it, no therapy or hypnosis will ever take it away.. no matter what you all say THATS NIT GONNA HAPPEN – MY TRAUMA IS LIFELONG. A continuation of darkness, pain, weapons, gangs, drugs, jails, thoughts, even yesterday I realised something reading up on County Lines… I was a walking carrier bag 😭…those who were placed to love and protect, tbf caused the most damage.
But I feel inside a burning 🔥, a desire for better, an inner knowledge I deserved more… I fought and fight my inner battles daily, just to stay sane enough to function.
I try not to be a monster, we all have that capability, deny if you want m, push someone far enough and you will break what you know them to be.
I will fight for others being destroyed like this, my time is done , there’s no more they can do, I cried today it’s a lot to carry every day ..
Today I can’t face the world so I’ll hide away. It’s all so wrong ,it’s disturbing.