Police have astonished me ..

I had court this morning. I’ve been awaiting a complaint address from police they contacted today knowing I was in court.

I can’t catch my breath at the disdain I was treated with and guess what .. no address..

It’s ok though I told her the officer I’d get it myself .. I’ve come home and just spoken to a different office .. now I’ll show you my evidence .. time to file scan and give you a master copy ..

This is disgraceful it’s so contrasting to what I’m doing for the community stuff PROTECT THE PROTECTOR- who won’t protect me 😞 .

Well when I speak to anyone outside of those to blame I mean other police like I just did.. they gave me the address in seconds ..

well time to get on it again, you will not treat me like that , none of you Ive done nothing wrong, I think you forget he’s a sexual predator and HE MADe CONTACT..

I don’t care about him, his life , his wife , job or friends I could give a shit .. I didwhat courts asked and found the information that’s all .. now it’s getting personal ..

why would trained officers deal with you in such a nasty way? If your bored of your job leave andhit a new section as women men or children who have survived what we have don’t need you to come in and degrade us too .. what right have you ? Cos you wear a badge ? You are people it’s a fucking uniform.. wherehas your humility gone?? I’ve seen some awful things blood death guns bodies but I’m not cut off I still care … we cannot become accustomed to this type of behaviour ..

people wonder what’s wrong with the world … I’ll tell you now ..

The criminals have the power , thelaws protect them, the police most I’ve come across are hardened.


Got through to complaints it’s the woman from the emails omfg.. so I now know why they can’t do anything and I also know back then my case made a change …wow 😮 .. I’m proper taken a back ..

but …

This means I cannot stop ✋.. not after that conversation the police are as frustrated as I am.. tbf it’s the laws .. and people like me yes your right mrs people like me fuelled by helping others WE WILL MAKE THE CHANGE ..

I feel I’m the one who can make that change without dying to get it..

I’m not strong at all .. I just got raised by an army machine lol Never stop going, never give in, keep believing and focus on tour mission.

Some may say it’s MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.. but me I know cos I feel it ..

The fallacy of protection is gone , my reality is, as always, You want it sorted, roll your sleeves up and get your hands dirty.

On with my day I have an awful lot to do.


Feeling.. I do feel despite what people see

Looking through the files, I’ll tell you what I see, all of the services there to protect, and what they did to me.

They put me on meds, said I was mad, subdued my mentality, took away the last I had.

They put me in therapy, to sort out MY issues,

They sit , listen and hand you out tissues.

You tell them what’s happening, he’s bothering you, got hold of a young one whilst on orders not too.

Tell me I’m paranoid,jealous and sad, make me feel more dirty just like he had ..

Then when he’s back again, no more meds for me, ordering files, that’s when I see.

All was reported probation police and docs, it was easier to destroy me than do your fucking jobs!

Well now I know how, and exactly what to do, your gonna help get the protection I’m due.

I apologised to day for appearing angry , he said not at all it’s pure passion I see☺️

I believe in me now, like never before, was told this would rise, when I got off the floor.

My strength will consume you, my fear helps me grow, you took me back to a path, only darkness I know.

You didn’t count ,on how fast I heal, how much progress I made ,on how inside I now feel.

This time round I’m not going under ..

You, well you have made many a blunder

Each of those services that failed in the past, your gonna help me now it’s not gonna last.

He should not be able to utter my name , you allow him to see me , the laws put my face there , you play his game.

Once this is sorted , maybe they’ll see .

The services supposedly there to protect me 🙄

I read the papers wrong.

Ok so I’ve spent my morning on the phones ..

The courts I must apologise to yes they asked me to serve but there are other things in the detail. Can’t say what on here but it’s not what I first read.

I’m sobbing 😭 relief, grief, stress, had it all this mad few weeks.

Dealing with brothers and sisters long lost and another who demands like me when he’s mad lol 😂.

Trying to support an old school sas type soldier through grief from distance.

Working on the community stuff no matter what that must keep gaining the momentum it is.. it can only bring positive connections.

I’ve worked to hard since his damage to allow him to come and destroy me .. I’m back where I was strong, determined and powerful. I work for good I always have and now I’m back working with the kids you won’t take that from me again.

The days tick by .. one full complaint to West Midlands Police has gone …

probations will be Sent today ..

then child services and housing

There are too many services failing children and parents .. not just mums, dads too!

There are too many disingenuous guidances to keep you swimming in paperwork so you stay lost and drowned out.

I’m through all that, this time I broke out to the surface, the air is fresh, the sun is bright and my shine will blind you 😎, when my wings spread fully this time the protection they hold is unbreakable ..

Try Me 😇

More Paperwork

My battle continues 3 days after step mums funeral ⚰️ I’m on the phone to probation, social services and emailing the police back …

WHY? The police want me to make a summary of complaint ..

well if Im complaining of their failures, the other services are as bad so we gonna do them all together..

Today’s calls, eventful, you all know , but now because of your failings and what I’ve had to dig up , So do I !

This will be addressed .

Time, well I’ve suffered this many years, What’s a bit more time going to do?

I will stop this being part of my life and the teams that should have acted in our defence and hers, bless , are going to do their job and finally fulfill their duty of cAre.

There’s so much I should be doing, wasting my life and time and energy on him is making me mad.. he should not be a part of my life and you have all allowed him, supported him even in abusing another young child ..

The system needs changing !!!!!

Life sucks at times .

Haven’t wrote in a while, a few things been happening!

My stepmum has passed, not much older than me it’s sad ☹️.

Brother back in touch after 20 years absence from the family…. emotional 😭.

I’m dealing with serving my ex, my rapist the court papers, I tried through the post he’s refused to sign , back to the courts … I’m quite happy to just sit lol blanket flask of tea my deep heat a video camera and just wait outside the block lol me and me walking stick .. Court and close ones say no.. I’m past caring about his response .. my risk ..

do they not understand the risk is there now he’s hoovering still!

Doctors had to make formal complaint I’m so fed up of complaints and failures, maybe if they give the correct diagnosis I can get the right help.

Well onwards we go , I’m not sleeping more than normal, back to day naps.. I’m agitated tired and swollen my body is not liking all this activity .

Well I’ve sent some requests and info off again as I’m after a certain address. The case will get where it needs to be, there are many more options now…

The fact you have behaved the way you have, shows you for what you are, if what I said wasn’t true, well why would you now be hiding? Running from the papers and the courts. We know don’t we?

You have messed up and it’s taken me all this time to totally piece it all together. Your plan didn’t include me healing did it? Fighting back! Not allowing your control to take my life again, keeping focused. Me n mine have worked so hard to wipe your damage and recreate sanctuary after your destruction. You will not get the opportunity ever again so try as you may all I want from you is to man up and face me back in court let’s finish this once and for all..

I hope you regret the day you sent that message! What did you expect after all that you did .. a cuppa and cake 🧁🤪.

August’s anxiety’s

Yet another month begins.

I sorted the uniform grant and school meals. No one has answered as to how my son hasn’t had dinners for last the three months. It will get answered I won’t go away till it does. You are the educated! You are the Carers of our children when we hand them to you.. is this appropriate care? I feel He’s been victimised by you all. Does it make you feel accomplished when you look in the mirror? Speaks volumes about you as people.

On top off that there’s been the courts and it’s process. Hours sat , in the company of all sorts. Why do they still not have two rooms one for us and one for them ? It causes problems, one man waiting for his wife kept getting harassed and growled at by the other parties to their case.. these are simple changes that can be made to simplify the tensions in the waiting areas.

Then there’s the system.. How do they leave you a rape victim to find the abusers address? Tell you to serve the papers 🤣😆 I have to laugh , my history with him is horrific. After all this time and the knowledge I have I am tempted to take that risk and serve these papers myself. WHY? So I know it is done and we are not going to be wasting time, so I see an end to this for me.. Your driven to these moments after years, after the police refuse to act , after the courts system fails, where are our rights ??? Who made the legal team so overbearing they are telling the judges what they think will get the case through fast. They took out half my original statement!! Yes I argued it, but we have no voice in there… they don’t want to listen 👂

To top things off, my stepmum died this week, and I’ve got a painful lump growing under my skin, on my head above my temple, getting it checked today.

I’m aching, exhausted and just want this month to be done so I can just get back to simplicity.

My money meeting is Monday. I just can’t be arsed. They want to punish me for having to do, I’m to tired to fight it.

They want to punish me for having to sit in court,not take my meds so my brain works, let them.

They want to punish me for using my anger positively to help, then bloody let them.

There comes a point where, you just stop caring. Every other service has bent me over while whistling the National Anthem, least when these do it I’ll know the words🤣

School meals sorted

So a phone call..

I’m told this is done online… why was it all not confirmed on transfer? Why have I not been told before now …

why were new school not informed by old school? It’s not down to me this one! Try again… I had many meets paperwork done my income made clear..

it will be answered who is to blame.

They understand why my child didn’t complain after what we gone through, so there’s comprehension of what’s happened to us..

I explained this is what I meant when I started my complaint.. they silence them they stop their growth and confidence. Just shows how quick it can happen..


My job as a parent is to guide nurture raise and protect.. Till the day I die that is what I will do..

we need rounded stable able thinkers in our world. Not half alive drones..

One day these children will grow naturally out of your care and they will rebel at what has been done … a generation of subdued angry upset adults.. good luck with that…

Here we Go another battle

So I’ve been trying to solve my issues , with my ex , the school, the areas, and it’s gonna cost me..

a year early and I’m called in for reassessment.

I’ve been to vocal. I’ve learnt internet a bit, I’ve had too lol .. I’ve stopped all meds and not seen a doc in months.. have my issues suddenly stopped ? No of course not but I saw the meds were subduing me not helping.. they made me I can’t explain it .. just not really here ..

Without them my brain Capacity has evolved again it’s using itself .. I have a new skill or two all learned from home in my time I can do it stuck in bed .. I can be something important ..

so though this means I’m capable .. yes mentally I am I always told you my body is broken but my mind is far from it..

I’m here cos the services won’t protect me, I’m driven by anger and adrenaline and a deep desire for change and justice ..

it hasn’t changed my physical ability and if you want to take my. Income for trying well just shows what I’m trying to do needs to be done ..

what will be will be .. but I do t deserve this shit on top of everything else .

Uniform grant update

I sat and emailed the school involved yesterday morning. Why? I have been told by the grant people someone is there in the office and I’m not being ignored on this situation.

My email consisted of telling them I want s full explanation as to why my son has not been fed for 3 months in their care. I added in that I’m not struggling over the holidays my child will turn up in what I can afford and he will not be penalised for it.

I told them I’m looking into work and the legalities of it ( I did he can work 3 hours peer school day not more than 18 hours a week at his age). I’m seriously considering that as a future option. I will if the education system continues like this remove both my children from it.

I explained I’m being persecuted and they are abusing my child in the process. The only thing he’s done wrong is be born to a mother that will not allow him to be a drone. Think for yourself, feel your emotions , discuss things… These are the ways we grow.

The teachers are scared .. the children today have no respect, only some I say. They go on about a specific wave of children they can’t control.. they are still using collective punishment on all your good kids, silencing there progression and growth because it’s easier than funding suitable punishments for the not so well behaved.

Outcome before I rant away.. I receive emails from the school and the trust funders I’m correct my grant will be in post for next week..

Ok great thank you.. still doesn’t answer my child not being fed and feeling the best choice rather than ask , due to what he has seen these so called care givers do to me , was to starve. No they haven’t answered that. Probably never will it will just get swept under the carpet .. like the abusive teacher my request for cctv and then two days later them trying to get me arrested.

I’ll say it again I know criminals with better moral standing than those specific teachers

Academy nightmare continues

So far this holiday I’ve had the ESFa contact me, give me 7 days to reply to them. I do so telling them things are not ok.. they send me back this situation is resolved.. well I never..

So then this week the uniform grant people email no grant my son apparently doesn’t qualify .. my daughter and son do.. they tell me school said they don’t..

I tell her I’ve got the paperwork ,send it me if you think you have it I can review she says , I tell her I’m the parent who removed her son from …… I was in the paper and I’m being persecuted.

I send the paperwork… oh she says I can’t I haven’t the experience to know .. sorry this is BS … three letters of income my ESA proof my child benefit and child tax andmy council tax .. you bloody know.

I have been severely abused by this system..

I then ask my son what you been doing for food at school son? He’s been starving rather than tell me or the new school cos of the damage through this he chose to starve and say nothing rather than see me take on more abuse from the schools.

I’m furious the are using my child to punish me for complaining.. the fact they have teacher as a title legally is allowing them to do this ..

well today I’m going to be scrolling looking for laws on children and work ..

I’d rather remove him from the care of these monsters permanently and give him life .. this is not a simple mistake I’m not accepting that .. they are fully aware of my financial situation..

How can this be allowed ? Because they are not accountable for their actions and are allowed to act with impunity ..

Not with my children ..