Court gets closer day by day, papers served, I’m a mess.
Will it be a brief that comes with him prepped and educated a long serving solicitor vs me as I’m still self representing in court.
Will it be nothing, at least if he doesn’t come it can continue without him.
I have to face him again 😞. They said again I can sit in a room ( been there done it), I can have screens ( did it ) , I’ve even done video link.. why not now? If you separate someone it should be him, if you put screen round someone it should be him screened off .. I am not hiding it shows fear … am I scared ? Of course But he’s not seeing that this time 🙄
I’m back there again! How should you feel in this moment? All I know is it’s awful I used to walk off my stress, tried that today, all I did was hurt myself lol , fell asleep after and now , I’ll be on and off all night.. I’ll be tired and stressed n sore this will continue for days 😫😡
Normally I’d get frustrated and angry well in the past, now I’m lucky to have a focus, I’ve got this blog, I’m trying to vlog but it’s hard you know, I am to tell about being given the responsibility of serving my abuser his court papers .. and the probation stuff. The pain , the pressure the waiting, the battles … I’m lucky to have the network around that I do .. it will come as its meant to , I cAnt force it out ..
I suppose I’m trying to say I’m manifesting emotional distress as court comes, this is graphable material in my evidence . You could chart his contacts and my mental health decline , it worsens when the services fail ..
So for now, keep busy , adrenaline runs me at the moment. It’s draining, you can’t sustain it for long periods without ill Health it devours you, leaves you wiped out. I will not lose because I’m emotionally retarded and can’t contain the pain, I’ve come too far.
There’s only one way to go ONWARD🐷, back is not an option, neither is a pit stop 🛑.
I thank the few who never gave up on ME, I thank those recently who believed in Me, I thank my children and family( not all blood) for loving me unconditionally and I hope the wheels keep turning. For all the sadness inside I find many reasons to get through a day, HOPE people, it’s the key to survival, this won’t last forever.
Jenny's Justice 