Full of frustration, anger and resentment.

Went out last night … feel no better for it at all.. it changed nothing.

Couldn’t settle, things went, well, far from what was planned.. People’s actions all week and the police, the ex, the school, living it’s all whirring blended together..

Anger my issue, told my Imprisoned brother off for no control this week.. I cant get it out

Let people down, I hate to do that ,it was done to me all week..

Drunk ,,, no ,, Glad yes lol

My body hurts just from walking Broad street drunk on top of that would not be good.

I’m lost if I’m honest , emotionally battered and beaten. It’s worse emotionally with bruises at least you know it’s going to heal all that’s left is a memory .. This is like torture,

Coercion and control is 2015 up they can use previous for bad character, but won’t they know if they put it in front of a jury there’s reasonable doubt there’s evidence. SO WHY WONT THE POLICE HELP ME? BECAUSE 13 years of this isn’t enough … He has to physically do more to hurt my person..

So in the uk a man can beat you, Rape you and torment you for 13 years and the English laws allow it.

They put you in intensive therapy, equip you with the tools for life so this doesn’t happen to you again you do courses, core meetings, social services, police, courts, lawyers women’s Aid anawim to repair and then the uk law allows him your abuser to mentally and emotionally torture you .. live five minutes from you, let’s him on order connect with your child’s friend from school.

There are ten known child sex offenders in his , my abusers family ( told by the services) and he has waited 7 years to have a child ,so his licence from prison is finished. This so there’s no social services involvement in his life. It’s while I’m early stages of that pregnancy he contacted me..

The court system after his contact to me again.. Gives my abuser the choice on whether or not he wants to attend the hearing. Do you see the problems???

What I must ask is why put so much in repairing us doctors therapists if it’s pointless.. what a waste of resources and money..

Stop lying to the survivors of these horrendous crimes and be honest tell us no matter how much you change as a person the law hasn’t and IN REALITY THE LAW PROTECTS THEM NOT US..

The worst of iris if I was a relative or daughter to anyone I’ve dealt with , you know he’d be in jail long ago.

So I now have to spend the day looking at my children one a young girl knowing in future if some horrid man hurts her .. I will not call the police, knowing the last call with that Detective Inspector was the last call I can’t do that again .. told it’s historic now.. ( screamed I did – it was reported then that’s your fault as services not mine ..

I’ve just proper had enough. There’s no point all I know is I need to think about court .. is it worth my