I’ve just come off the phone…

a young girl was assaulted outside my house by her partner 3 weeks after giving birth 🤰

The police still haven’t taken statements yet the courts are ordering her to pass these tiny children to him .. she’s desperate..

I’ve told her what to do today.. respect courts decision tell them on the evidence they’ve seen it’s a fair comment. But tell them we are contacting Lloyd house and will be back on Appeal.

What’s going on with the system? Your hurting the most vulnerable.. I have offered to attend court with her if she needs it.. I have no choice but to offer..

How can you sleep at nights upper class? You are meant to be educated! Your killing us 😢. This girl is young where’s her support she got attacked her 80 year old numb sister got attacked , she needs help not court telling her she’s unfit cos police still haven’t took witness statements.

The police were raw to this girl came to arrest her, babybreastfeeding told her leave it here get bottles .. omfg.

This and my story well just one of millions people.. but you need to know what the system is doing and why kids, sand mums some dads are broken.

They’ve told her if she goes forward with a fact find on her case they may find her unfit and take her kids. I’m livid the fact find-is her right to info on her case dare you make her afeared to ask.

On with the fight it’s disgusting what’s going on ..

Since I got the letter from probation and the police said there’s nowhere to go, I’ve been stressed 😩 . I knew there was, so question …why do they lie? It upsets my mojo badly, I get so angry 😡 this is not a good place for me to be.

The pressure of serving the court papers alone is enough, but the pressure of finding where to go next is also a mission of its own.. no ones forthcoming it’s taken 13 years to get passed the police and probation. How is that when I’ve reported everything I could. You give in, it hurts in ways words cannot describe.

How does a victim of a crime get the same level as rights as a criminal? How does data protection help me? Where is the support network from the professionals? Why do they damage us after what we have just come out of or are suffering.

When will you people understand! You are killing off the last bit of a person, I’ve been broken by the system so many times and rebuilt I am a Phoenix. I sit in pain at that laptop scanning printing its immense.

Well now papers are served and accepted at two addresses, two things can happen:

1. He turns up and the next battle in the war begins.

2. He states he never signed, don’t turn up and we go round the carousel again.

In the meantime I will follow due process down it’s barbed wire path, cut and bleeding as I go, when I get to the end and I’m scarred know this people ” A scar is a healed wound”.. you will not take my spirit, you never could 🤣☺️🥰

If I didn’t have the volunteer things I’m doing right now, I’d of gone down, mind melt, emotional retard, I’m so thankful for the focus.

I dropped off my evidence to probation hq last week .. today I get a letter..

It’s all in the words.

Thank you for providing your very detailed documents……..demonstrates long-standing pattern of behaviour from Mr **** to yourself……endeavouring to conclude by …

Ohh dear eh.. the conclusion, and there is only one, is put me in crown court so I can get protection.

His rights! What about mine? Did I miss something where’s my right to choose to stay safe and be supported, where’s my right to human rights? Where’s my right to live, free of his grasp ? Where’s my right to be heard?

Well I’m going to be busy this weekend much to do .. not looking forward to it painful physically and mentally.

Our system is flawed.

Oh the papers have been received from court, the next step has begun.

So on 16 September I had court again, to be told it was my responsibility to serve, even though we were told as I’d done that and due to the nature of my case this time the court bailiffs would.

I was given until the 7th October to do this. I’ve rang the courts and sent an email and today rang again as I still haven’t received the order to serve him with..

It was posted yesterday! So by the time I get it I have four days to do it all and get evidence back to the courts 🙄

It’s a joke ..

Then on 18th September I attended Probation Hq, about one of my complaints. There two ladies say and told me they know nothing about my case and would be investigating seriously. The asked what evidence I have to back my accusations. Lol 😂. I spent two days printing them a master copy and one of the ladies names had been familiar so I checked the files, she knew my case ..

Over ten people some senior knew all along and did nothing.. is it appropriate she is heading my case when she failed before? Or that she denied knowledge to my face ? How rude if not unprofessional.

So I’ve complained again..

I’m ill this is taking it out of me … I should be in crown court! Someone should be helping me !

It’s all failing the survivors and supporting the criminal too much SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!

I went to the HQ of one of the teams I’ve complained about sat at that table with two ladies and my dad. They told me they had no knowledge of my case.

I told my dado did the names I knew .. just rang a bell..

Well I was right, you lady havehad knowledge of this case year on year you are in, every section of this paperwork.

Is it appropriate behaviour to lie ? This is why I came with support, your lies and twisted truths sent my life down, you destroyed me rather than listen.. he got another one because of you and I’ve blamed myself for years ..

now I’m in this position. This is not appropriate and I’m not happy handing you in particular my evidence.. I think I shall be contacting your boss again.. wonder if she knows .. I’ve got another day in front of the computer.

This time round you will be accountable and you won’t be heading my complaint when your a big part of it.

Let’s dance again but this time it’s to my 🎵. Your not doing that to me again you are supposed to be the professionals 🤬😱

Went on Wednesday to headquarters of one of the teams I’ve complained about.

They called me in to clarify my complaint. Ask for evidence to back it and then go forward.

I try hard to stay normal but the shakes start, the history is out, I was a different person then.. this past year even what’s happened, has changed everything I was.

I know this situation will end .. the choice of due process will prevail… keep plodding on to make the changes happen it’s the only way.. 13 is my lucky number so 13 years in who knows it could stop.

What do I want from this? For me and mine a life time order for myself and my children with him not being allowed within 10m of me …

for others, not to suffer like I have, changes that protect them more, the abusers treated with the intensity we get given( we aren’t sick they are), better care in the family courts and social services and changes in law that protect us and our officers to a much higher degree in a modern world.

We as a society have become acceptant of drugs, knives, murder, guns violence rape and child exploitation .. it’s not good enough.

It will only change if people care enough to act against it .

My life’s changed dramatically since he got in touch…

what is it they say, without darkness, what use is there for light💡.

Well it’s driven me forward, pushed me to challenge myself and I’m far better than I gave myself credit for.

Sat in the station waiting on the train, can’t drive today heads full, would be dangerous. What will today hold? An adjournment? A non molestation order 6 months long? It just isn’t good enough ..

Well suit on, feeling empowered, this will stop and my persistence in requesting proper protection will have a positive outcome … why am I so sure? I’m a survivor and belief in more is the key to surviving 🤗

Well it’s court next week.

Carry on or dismissal.

I’ve got my evidence and dismissal is not an option.

In the meantime I’ve been busy as I can be. I’m out-in the world I fear, time to turn the lighthouse on.

Things need to change in our world and action will make it happen..

I hate being out there , I’m a hider by choice lol , but I feel it’s got to be done ..

The effects last a lifetime, accept it.. change the system allowing it to happen this has been the path for years.

I can’t say too much the case may come, but I’ve still got steps to take against it to prove what’s got to be changed ..

Going back to tell it all will be the therapy, hasn’t been able to be approached yet as it’s still going on… showing others cos you will see my pain I’m sure ..

For now just don’t give up people, every day is an achievement.

Hello again.

I’ve been working away, gathering more information, trying to get answers as to how things can happen as they have.

I’ve made my first vlog

https:// youtu.be/72OiqQdTn0E ( type that without the spaces to get to the vlog )

I’m going to start from the beginning and work through it, what I’ve endured, how it’s affected us, how he’s abused the system to in turn abuse me and others, how the system and professionals there to protect have failed on many occasions.

All I know how to do is tell it how it was and is , I’m not perfect, I survive.

No matter what’s said people will have opinion, that’s your right.

My aim is a change, my reasons, I just know this cannot continue for others.

I had court this morning. I’ve been awaiting a complaint address from police they contacted today knowing I was in court.

I can’t catch my breath at the disdain I was treated with and guess what .. no address..

It’s ok though I told her the officer I’d get it myself .. I’ve come home and just spoken to a different office .. now I’ll show you my evidence .. time to file scan and give you a master copy ..

This is disgraceful it’s so contrasting to what I’m doing for the community stuff PROTECT THE PROTECTOR- who won’t protect me 😞 .

Well when I speak to anyone outside of those to blame I mean other police like I just did.. they gave me the address in seconds ..

well time to get on it again, you will not treat me like that , none of you Ive done nothing wrong, I think you forget he’s a sexual predator and HE MADe CONTACT..

I don’t care about him, his life , his wife , job or friends I could give a shit .. I didwhat courts asked and found the information that’s all .. now it’s getting personal ..

why would trained officers deal with you in such a nasty way? If your bored of your job leave andhit a new section as women men or children who have survived what we have don’t need you to come in and degrade us too .. what right have you ? Cos you wear a badge ? You are people it’s a fucking uniform.. wherehas your humility gone?? I’ve seen some awful things blood death guns bodies but I’m not cut off I still care … we cannot become accustomed to this type of behaviour ..

people wonder what’s wrong with the world … I’ll tell you now ..

The criminals have the power , thelaws protect them, the police most I’ve come across are hardened.

……

Got through to complaints it’s the woman from the emails omfg.. so I now know why they can’t do anything and I also know back then my case made a change …wow 😮 .. I’m proper taken a back ..

but …

This means I cannot stop ✋.. not after that conversation the police are as frustrated as I am.. tbf it’s the laws .. and people like me yes your right mrs people like me fuelled by helping others WE WILL MAKE THE CHANGE ..

I feel I’m the one who can make that change without dying to get it..

I’m not strong at all .. I just got raised by an army machine lol Never stop going, never give in, keep believing and focus on tour mission.

Some may say it’s MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.. but me I know cos I feel it ..

The fallacy of protection is gone , my reality is, as always, You want it sorted, roll your sleeves up and get your hands dirty.

On with my day I have an awful lot to do.